Well, what can I say? Everything is gone for me. Totally destroyed. In my career. My current job. I thought it would be a better future for me since it's a statutory board. Boy, I was so so so wrong. In all accounts.
I have been badly backstabbed in this company and it doesn't help that I am way too ignorant of the intricate things that go on in big companies. I have never worked in a big company before and certainly not as big as my current company. Never in my wildest dreams would I realised that I would be a victim of office bullying.
But it happened. And I was helpless to do anything.
I never stopped to think that all the while, I have been doing things wrongly in this job. Everything. I should have suck up to my boss. I should have suck up to the FM manager. Especially the FM bitch. I stubbornly did things my own way and this FM bitch was not pleased with me at all.
So she plotted to get me into trouble and she succeeded. She had something that I don't have. Power. She can wield power in her favour and I would be defenceless against her.
That is how things work in the corporate world and I was too naive to show my real feelings and thoughts to my "colleagues". To people whom I had put my trust wrongly. Right now, I am feeling the pain, the hurt that my job has given me.
Hurt by colleagues whom I thought were reliable. But I was wrong. My thoughts and feelings somehow managed to get to this FM bitch and poof! Here comes the attack. In this company, you have to do everything and you can't bitch about it. Every single work that comes into your hand has to be accomplished and you can't say that you aren't paid to do that job. You have no choice in any matter.
Guess what? I did exactly that and it's career kamikaze for me. Not that I minded much. It's just that my colleagues are so unreliable that irks me to no end. Yes, I admit I am a stupid person to believe them in the first place. Work is something that you can't find and build true friendships or relationships.
I know some of you will disagree with me on this. But to me, that's how I perceive my workplace now. This FM bitch even went to the extreme of getting my colleagues to stay away from me except for work-related matters. So I have become an outcast in my dept and a loner too.
I have been truly stupid to think so simple of these workplace matters. This FM bitch is not to be trifled with and she showed that to me. Now I have no more future left for advancement in my job. She put paid to that by complaining excessively about me to my boss, thus giving my boss a bad impression of me and my work attitude.
Now this FM bitch is leaving for another organization and that's a relief. However it's too late for me and my career. I can only hope to stay till end of this year and start looking for a new job next year and start things afresh. This time round, I will be smarter and interact less with my colleagues.
Also, I must start doing more work so as to appear extremely busy in front of the boss so as to increase my chances of promotion. Life's cruel and harsh but there's nothing we can do. It's a survival of the shrewdest individual that will win the competition.
For now, I just keep to myself and don't talk to anybody unnecessarily. I work alone, I lunch alone, I go home alone. Everything is just one word for me: ALONE. That would be the best way for me to proceed even though it will turn me into a super outcast.
Now I just want this whole year to go by and I can't wait to get my hands on a degree. With a degree, I would be able to get a better job and probably get to boss other people around. Wahaha! Ok, that's mean of me. Just joking. I just want to get out of the admin mold. Nothing else matters.
As long as I get to put food on the table, nothing else matters. There are people out there who live to work. But there are others who work to live. I belong to the second group but I would still put out my 100% into my work and hold nothing back. It's only when I feel that injustice had been done to me that I start drawing clear lines around my work.
Why should I do other people's work when they are supposed to finish it? And it's not as though they are too busy to do anything else. Rather they are spending time doing unneccessary work instead of prioritize their work. It's not my fault if they can't finish their work in the end.
However, I have no say in my dept and so I kept my mouth shut. But I do bitch around just like everyone else. No one is a saint in their lives. It's just that I'm pure unlucky that my bitching gets round to the boss. I'm resigned to it now. I stay clear from everybody so that I won't have to face awkward situation whereby no one talks to me. In fact, all the executives have stopped talking to me as they have been conditioned by the FM bitch.
I will never know the real reason behind her actions but one thing for sure, she's evil and probably that's why her husband left her together with their son. Yep, she's a divorcee. And I tell ya, this FM bitch is probably the best paid manager in my company as she did the least amount of work, choosing to delegate her work to the executive. She usually spent most of her time having tea/coffee breaks, long lunch breaks and shopping.
YES! She does shopping during office hours. How lazy can she get?! Anyway she's leaving in a couple of days and I won't be seeing much of her during this time. Hopefully by the time I go back to office after my training, she would already be gone by then.
By then, I hope my working life would be more peaceful without any troubles. I need to have a peaceful mind in order to survive in this cut-throat place. All right. Tonight's rambling is certainly long-winded. Time to stop. I'm falling sick to the flu virus soon. Argh! My nose has turned runny and I'm sneezing non-stop. Plus my throat is feeling the itch and I can't seem to stop coughing. Gosh!
Time to rest.... Orhmmmm......
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